From a Notebook Lost: The Same and The Other 24
If I be or not be all would fail to notice, to take note. That is why I wonder and ponder they why of me. I know not why i am here. I see no point, reason, meaning, purpose for me. I, to myself, am transparent, clear, and translucent, and all see me in this and that way. They look at me and see noting. They reach out to grasp me but grab nothing for I am invisible to all. Oh how I wish to be real, to see, hear, smell, taste, and feel anything, but I see, hear, smell, taste, and feel nothing. How do I exist; maybe i do not exist. For none seem to realize that I am here and there. I am nothing to them. Am I also nothing to me? I know not, but it could be true or not. Am I the reason that I exist to none? Could it be that I made myself invisible to all? Then existence is in the mind. But I have yet to figure out in whose mind. Is it mine mind or your mind or the gods mind. I do not know, but with to. Do the gods and you and me wish to not be seen? Or only you or only me or only the gods or one of the various combinations thereof. Wherein we or me or gods conspire in one way and another to keep me invisible. I know and understand not my whys. I wish to be seen and noticed. I want to be heard and felt. I want to see, hear, smell, taste, and fell everything, but I fear I cannot for I know not who is in control. Whoever is in control has the power of my existence and my non-existence. So to you and the gods and me. Let me exist. Let me exist.