From a Notebook Lost: The Same and The Other 7
How dreadful and dreary is today, and tomorrow, if I believe the weather reports, (and I do), will be all the more worse. Where is the sunshine that makes everything seem happier? Perhaps it be hidden behind a cloud or dare I even say it got tired of its job and quit. How horrible a thought that it, the sunshine, could quit. If that be true then what am I and we to do for without the sunshine we have no flowers to smell or tan lines to look at or light. No light means an all encompassing darkness, where we could see nothing, not even ourselves. How grievous will that day be, when everything ceases to be anything, for we be incapable for our lack of sight. Need I dare say that in time we would die or just cease to exist and disappear into ourselves. How that should strike terror in your heart and mind? You should reel back in horror, for how dreadful it be to cease in existence, for if existence goes so does the essence, as if that would matter anymore. But without essence, we would wish to die, but could not, for to die you must have existence, which has ceased in this situation. So though we would long for death, it would taunt us, staying just out or our reach, teasing us with her womanly wiles, as they are, were, and will be, and we will not have or be able to obtain it. So we would exist in non-existence with no essence, for we need to exist in existence to have an essence, and it would continue like this for an amount of time, I know not of and cannot possibly comprehend or even hope to understand. But of course, there, now I see, my eyes were closed and I know not that they were. The sun be just as it was and will be, or so I believe and hope. But how foolish of me to say such things, for they could never… possibly… perhaps… probably would happen. So now what, on to the next or the then. Only time will tell or not or not or so or not.